An Asperger Marriage by Gisela Slater-Walker, Christopher Slater-Walker, Tony

By Gisela Slater-Walker, Christopher Slater-Walker, Tony Attwood

Chris and Gisela were companions for twelve years. 4 years in the past Chris was once clinically determined with Asperger syndrome. For Chris, this used to be a proof of why he had consistently looked himself as 'socially handicapped'. For Gisela, it intended coming to phrases with a wedding within which there may by no means be an intuitive knowing regardless of Chris's solid intentions. For the couple it was once the start of a protracted and nonetheless unfinished means of studying to dwell with a incapacity appeared through a few as incompatible with marriage.

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Example text

This seems even more likely, given the unsettling experiences I have had Diagnosis 41 with employment over the last few years). The responsibilities imposed by being both married and a parent and by the need to earn a reliable income all mean that I don’t have the option of retreating from the world to recover for a while, nor can I enjoy thirteen weeks’ holiday a year, which I had as a student. There seems to be little prospect of this situation changing in the foreseeable future. If there is any accessible provision for counselling and support for couples in our situation, then we have yet to find it.

More important, there was no hint of unease on his part when he was present during a fit. I must have done most of the talking, but gradually I found out more and more about Chris through persistent, yet gentle, questioning. He rarely revealed anything personal without being asked; there was an apparent reluctance on his part to disclose much about himself, and he explained this away by saying that when he was sent away to boarding school, he had been unhappy and it was this he thought may have led to his inability to express his feelings.

A few months after the diagnosis, Chris became increasingly unhappy, culminating in what was almost a breakdown. He had been rude to friends of my children from my first marriage and I was angry and upset. I shouted (always the wrong thing to do) and Chris shouted back, stormed a bit and then collapsed on the settee in tears. For the first time, he refused to respond to my trying to help and, also for the first time, I turned to his parents for help with our marriage. Chris’s father talked to him and then came through to where Chris’s mother and I were sitting; he looked dazed and said ‘He thinks totally differently to us’.

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